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Thursday, February 09, 2006

Update!!!!!!

Finally, an update...YEA!!!! Well, things with Steven and I are great. Marriage is wonderful (but certainly an adjustment). I was almost all the way moved in and settled in Steven's apartment, when tragedy struck. Steven already had an apartment with two other guys, P (the good roommate) and M (the crazy roommate) and the lease was until May. We had talked to P and M, they both said it was fine if I moved in until the lease was up. I moved in after Christmas and was continuing to move stuff in up until the 25th of January or so. In true Christina fashion, I procrastinated about turning my lease in until the middle of January, after we got an unauthorized tenant notice, hehe. A week after I turned in my lease application we still hadn't heard anything so Steven called and was told they were short-staffed and were behind on processing applications. This is understandable. Then Steven called the middle of the next week and was told that complaints had been made and our roommates didn't want me living there. We were surprised because we are both friends with P and couldn't imagine that he would go to the office and not to us if he had a problem. Turns out that M had been complaining that I was living there and he had changed his mind. This was around the 28th or so. Well, a few days went by and we didn't see M, we have a feeling he was avoiding us. So on the 31st I called his cell and left a message saying that we all needed to talk. He came home after work and was pissed off. He said that it was stressful enough to have one roommate who doesn't talk to him (Steven) and that he didn't need another (me). Well, the reason that Steven and I don't talk to him much is because he has quite the temper and you never know what he'll blow up about. So, it came down to that he had changed his mind and wouldn't sign to have me put on the lease. He changed his mind the next morning after he realized that we had legal recourse against him, but neither Steven or I wanted to be there or were comfortable with me being there without Steven or P being around (which happens everyday for a couple of hours). So Steven and I moved in with the McMains exactly a week ago and we have a lead on trailer that we might buy. It will be a shitty couple of months financially but we'll make it through and hopefully we'll have our very own place. So, needless to say, we're both a little stressed and pissed off, but we're making it.

We also had an interesting conversation with a couple from the home group that I go to. They don't recognize the validity of Steven and I's marriage and apparently found it necessary to let us know that we are wrong. They invited us over for dinner and we knew the conversation was going to end up in this direction. A few weeks ago, neither Steven or I went to home group. Something got brought up about us being married and this couple made it quite clear that they did not agree. I'm not really sure why they thought it was their place to confront us on the issue since I barely know them and Steven has met them twice, but that's Fundamentalists for you. After a few extremely inappropriate questions and polite disagreement, and laying out the story of our entire relationship to virtual strangers, we left. I don't feel they were open to any point we had to make. I think they just wanted us to change our minds to their point of view. Basically, our marriage isn't valid because there were no witnesses there (despite the fact that many people knew before hand and immediately after, so it's no secret that we're married) and minister didn't perform the ceremony which communicates that we think that we don't need God or the community to support our relationship (despite the fact that we told them how, without intervention from the Divine, this relationship would have never happened. There isn't a single instance we don't see God at work here.) Steven only agreed to have dinner with them so that we didn't cause a rift or make waves in the home group. The other people in the home group either agree with us, or respect us and support us since we've made this commitment to each other. I'm not really sure why I went. But, we are certainly through laying out our relationship story to virtual strangers. Isn't life interesting.

I find it very interesting that I am very confident in the decisions I've made over the last several months, but I'm facing more opposition, either from people or in the form of stress, than I have before. But, I stand firm in the decisions I've made.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Christina,

Nice to read you again.
Follow your heart way!
Can't wait to see you in August.

Anonymous said...

Chris,
Sorry I didn't comment earlier... I needed to gather my thoughts on this one. The problem isn't fundamentalism. It's legalism. I would call myself a fundamentalist without hesitation, but I cringe at even a hint of legalistic tendancies in myself. :) I will say this-- marriage is a Godly institution first and foremost, before it is a legal institution. The commitment to one another to die to yourselves and look to God for all that is good and right about your marriage is what should be sought after. I want you to know that I do support y'all, love y'all, and will be here for y'all as much as I can possibly be.

:hugs: