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Sunday, February 06, 2005

The end is near

Well, I have one more weekend at my current job. I'm currently a direct care worker for adults with brain injuries in a group home setting. I've been there a year and enjoyed it for the most part. Over the Christmas break I was working 40 hours a week including 11 hours on Saturday and and 8 hour shift of Sunday. The Saturday shift has been my regular shift since I started working but the Sunday shift was only because my co-worker was out on maternity leave and I had asked for more hours. So over Christmas when I was working so much, I began to feel burned out. It all came on very quickly. I began to dread coming to work, especially on Sunday afternoon. A few weeks ago I was lying in bed on Saturday night around 1:30 am and just started freaking out, internally of course. I think it's the closest thing I've ever had to a panic attack. Within a week I decided to look for another job. I was having trouble getting through my shifts without crying. This week and last week weren't so bad though. Part of it is probably the fact that I know that relief is on the way. But I have very mixed feelings about leaving. Part of me feels bad about leaving and I know I'll miss the guys, but another part of me feels that in my current mental/emotional state I can't possibly stay without losing my mind. I will be making $3 an hour more, working fewer hours, and I'll have Saturdays to my self.

Well, I'm not sure that this makes a lot of sense, but I'm having trouble forming cohesive thoughts, so I'm going to bed. Goodnight.

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