There has been quite a lot going on the last couple of weeks. Two weeks ago was spring break which I enjoyed a great deal. I spent 90% of my time with Dan and I also went to Abilene for a few days where I got to hang out with Heather, Christopher, and mom. Heather and I did some wedding preparations. It was actually kind of fun and not as depressing as I feared it would be. The only thing that was disappointing was that my mom's spring break was the week before so I didn't get to hang out with her a lot. And Christopher and Heather had to work the whole time I was there. I also had a nice dinner with my dad and Jenni.
Over spring break I talked to my mom some about my persisting depression and general feeling of discontent. Some of these feelings are centered around church and teaching Sunday School. She suggested that I step down from teaching Sunday School and even take a break from church for a little while if I need to. I was going to have breakfast with the Children's Director the next week to discuss this, but on Sunday I had a break down. I was sitting in the sanctuary (teaching theatre: we mee on campus), Kathy sits down next to me, asks me something, and I just started to cry. So she grabbed me and we went to El Charro for breakfast tacos. We had to go back to the church so she could get her kids and husband and I needed my car. We went back to the children's area and I ended up talking to the Director then. She was very understanding and not at all upset. She certainly is a mother...she told me that she had a feeling that I was needing a break but was waiting for me to tell her. Sometimes I swear that mothers, mine included, have ESP. So yesterday was my last day to be involved in Sunday School and I haven't decided what I'm going to do about church.
Daniel had a great trip to Canada and loves Fanny more than ever. They are going to get married in August. I'm trying not to hate them. Seriously, I am very happy for them and for Christopher and Heather but since I am selfish it makes me very jealous. But I shouldn't care because Jes and I are going to be cat ladies together, like in the Simpsons. But my mom said that she was going to live in between us and we could take turns taking care of her. So I think a good plan is for Jes and I to alternate days or weeks, one of us caring for my mother while the other stands in the front yard, screaming jibberish, and throwing cats at people. That sounds much easier than putting up with a male.
Last Sunday night my grandpa died. He's been pretty sick for about two years, from the time he had a stroke. He got pnemonia (sp?) and didn't recover. I didn't go to the funeral for a number of reasons. One, I had no relationship with him. The last time I saw him, other than the time he had the stroke, was in high school and I don't remember that visit at all. So the last time I remember visiting with him and my grandma, I was probably in elementary school. Two, my dad did not go to the funeral. He and Jenni had an anniversary trip to Canada planned and their plane left the same day as the funeral. Three, the family dynamic is very tense to begin with and would probably be much more tense because my father was not going and I am not emotionally capapble of dealing with that much stress right now. My mom had offered to pay for me to go and even to go with me if my brothers weren't going. But I felt weird about going in the first place and would have felt even weirder if my mom had paid. She did buy a very nice floral spray with a Grandpa ribbon on it for us. She's so great.
My mom was here over our four day Easter weekend. Friday night my mom, Kathy, and I went out salsa dancing in Austin. We left around nine and it took us until 12:30 to find the club we had originally set out for. But in that time frame we had fun walking up and down sixth street getting a few drinks and trying to find other places to salsa dance. I love Kathy and I love my mom. I can't think of two more wonderful women to spend the evening with. I don't know what I would do without them. We got in at three in the morning so Saturday we slept late and were lazy. Sunday after church my mom, Daniel, Sean, Kathy, Liam, Maggie, and I all went and ate at Los Cucos, a new mexican resturant here in town. I invited Dan but he was asleep. Since I am so wonderful I took him my leftovers. The food was wonderful but I ate way too much. And for the previous 24 hours I had been eating from a new diet, eating according to your blood type. Most of the food I ate on Sunday was not on the list for A blood type. It was a bunch of dairy, carbs, and high acid food like tomato and peppers. I felt kind of queasy during the afternoon but my stomach calmed down after I ate leftover sesame chicken and steamed vegetables. It also could have been since I ate so much at once that my blood sugar shot up and then plummetted. Either way, I'd eat there again, just with a little more moderation.
Another bit of news, I go to the doctor tomorrow about my depression. This is on my mother's advice and the encouragement of Kathy, Jes, and a few other friends. It's just been steadly getting worse since December. Right now I just want to drop out of school. I having trouble doing anything productive which if that doesn't change will make a successful semester difficult to accomplish. I must admit I'm a little afraid of going on medicine. I know it's not supposed to be strong enough to alter your personality, but I'm afraid that it will. Anyway, I'm trying to go through with my school plans as scheduled and not make any major decisions until I'm a bit more rational. If I register now for summer and fall, I can always withdraw if I choose to, but if I don't register and then change my mind, I'm pretty well fucked. So I'm trying to just think about the next week and not much further than that because then I start to freak out.
And last but not least, the date of my guys moving has been pushed back. My brother isn't moving to Canada until June instead of the middle of May. This is basically just for finacial reasons. Dan isn't moving to North Carolina until May. His friend that he's moving out there with screwed him over so it's going to be a little while until he can fix his car. I don't know if he'll still move out there but I know he doesn't want to stay in San Marcos so he'll probably be moving somewhere.
Well, this is getting fairly lengthy and that's the majority of what's been going on in the last couple of weeks.
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