nature vs. nurture

I've began to wonder how much of low self-esteem is passed through somehow with heredity and how much of it is learned through environment. My parents certainly encouraged me, loved me, and tried to make me feel like a competent individual. Yet I seem to not like myself very much. I'm not very confindent in my ability to make benificial decisions (I won't say good or correct decisions because I don't think there is a right and wrong decision for every situation, like what I'll choose for my Master's) for myself and I'm always worried about how or when things will go wrong and I'll get fucked over or I'll fuck someone else over. Rationally I know that I'm a relatively competent individual and that I can't control a lot of things, but I very rarely feel that way. This seems to be manifesting itself lately in a general sense of apathy. I can't get started on school projects and I feel like my personal situations are doomed no matter what I choose. I know that both of my parents struggled with self-esteem and guilt for whatever reasons. My mom has told me that even as a toddler I picked up on tension with or between my parents. So again, I'm not sure how much of this was learned, even though my parents certainly did not intend for it to be, and how much of it was passed down genetically. If it is learned, I don't know how to unlearn it. I was doing ok for a while, but it's so hard to face it day to day, especially when crisis occurs. Then it's a horrible cycle because I get so mad at myself that I feel this way, which makes me feel worse about myself. I went to counseling for a while, but I don't want to spend my whole life in counseling. I should probably go back but, back to the cycle, I don't think it will make a huge difference in the long run. I guess I'm at least a step foward from where I was because at least I recognize what I'm doing. I don't drink to excess or do drugs, but I do wallow in self-pity. I wonder if there's a support group for that...Hello, my name is Christina, and I'm a self-pitier.